Yesterday I went to see R again. At first I mentioned that it gets me nervous and distressed, when I have to "invent" the subject to talk about. R said it's good, that I told it to her and then she spoke for a long time that is not always easy to get thoughts together or out to others etc. It helped a bit. Then I worried for R that are my problems "big" enough, I guess I was trying to ask do I earn therapy. Again R gave me a professional answer and said, that outsider is not able to estimate the size of my problems, it's all about my own feelings. Then we just started to talk things, mainly about past issues. I definitely think that R is very professional therapist. I can't say yet is she suitable to be my therapist, I guess it takes some time to get the right feeling and trust. Of course it takes. We are going to meet again next Monday.