What a great date, I like it.

Yesterday was the last visit in the polyclinic with my former nurses. We worked together over 3 years, so it feels a little weird now when it's over. After all, it was the longest therapy affair I have ever had in these 5 years, when I've been in therapies. But now it's time to look forward and psychotherapy. It's very exciting to start new, different kind of treatment with a new person. Next Monday is the first meeting. Hopefully I get along with R. It's funny to think that in the future R is going to be one of the people in my life and the person who knows almost everything about me. So it's very important that we get along. Of course it may happen that we don't get along and if that happens, I probably have to search another therapist. I hope it doesn't happen. I know it could happen and then the best choice is not to try by force. This is too important issue to waste time and do unnecessary work. I'm just a bit stupid; I think it would be a personal insult towards therapist if I said that this is not gonna work. It's hard for me to say straight what I think when it comes to "unfamiliar" people. I fear that I insult others, if I say my own opinion. That's why I prefer to keep my mouth shut and conform the other. That's how it is in my life. Fortunately, when it comes to my close friends, I don't usually have this problem, I just tell my thoughts directly and plainly, sometimes too directly. So I have condradictory features. Well, I can think some times I have been drunk and opened up for almost everyone.. Hehe.. Then these blocks inside my head vanishes. But that is what alcohoel does and that's why it's so nice to drink and empty the head. Although I don't like the aggressive side of me, which just wants to provoke and argue with others. Then I become a monkey.

One thing to another, I just ordered an Elenium band shirt. It has a print like this in front (picture is taken from the Elenium's web site):

I have desired that shirt for a long time and this morning when I was listening to Elenium I decided that now is the time. Hopefully it arrives soon! Band shirts are nice to wear and it doesn't matter if someone doesn't recognize the shirt's band. It is nice, if someone does recognize some "rare" band (haven't happen to me though). I own just 4 band shirts; Before The Dawn, Hanging Garden, Ajattara and Throes of Dawn. In the future I'm going to get some more and that Elenium shirt is a good way to start! :)