Today I met my psycho therapist, R, for the first time. I went there over half an hour ahead of time and sat in a tiny, claustrophobic waiting room. At twelve o´clock R invited me in.

At first I panicked, when R said that it's me who decides the subject of every meeting. Me?! I don't know that to talk. I need leading and questions and analyzing. Well, after that R asked me to tell about myself to her. And I told. Everything from the childhood to present. Of course R asked questions and commented when needed. I noticed that speaking wasn't so hard after all.

R seemed like a professional and empathic person. She listened and talked. We settled the next appointment to the day after tomorrow. It's going to be very soon, I hope I don't get sleepless nights (like last night). But I can get the best benefit of the therapy when we meet with R often. I think I can manage it.

Now I'm gonna go to the city. I can't stand to be here, between four walls, or else I'm just going to lie down and lie until it's time to sleep.