I haven't written in few days now, haven't got anything special to say.

Yesterday I spend evening with few beer, I relaxed, listened to music and bathed in a sauna. A nice way to spend Friday-night, I wasn't eager to go out and now I don't have hangover. You don't always need to go to bar etc. to have fun time.

I'm a little worried about my friend, which I haven't heard anything of in few days. She promised to contact me at Thursday, but nothing happened and then she didn't even answered the phone. I hope everything's ok with her, I must try to call to her or something. It's not usual for her vanish like that.

Now I continue my morning, with a cup of coffee and music. Happy weekend to all!

Imagine this kind of situation: You are at home, it's 8 am, you've slept well and woke up refreshed. You've made some cup of coffee and now you are sitting in front of your computer, wearing some cozy home clothes, warm cat purring on your lap and coffee cup in your hand. You are listening to good music and surfing your favorite netsites. You have no hurry to anywhere, no one is expecting anything from you this morning. A new day is ahead, full of everything nice and new opportunities.

That's what the good mornings are made of. <3

It was so wonderful to woke up this morning and look out the window: it's snowing! Early this year. So the winter is coming. Welcome!

It was quite distressing atmosphere in today's therapy, there were so many quiet moments. Then after one long silence R asked me, what was I thinking. I almost panicked, what indeed? Was I thinking something or didn't just figure anything to say? It bothers me when it feels like I always have to make up the subject to talk about. I don't necessarily always have  things to say and is it there enough subjects to talk about, endlessly? We agreed that we will continue to meet now for a year from now. R asked me, what a feeling I have, do I want to continue working with her or does it make me too distressed. I said no no, I want to continue. Although really.. I'm not sure. I am distressed, of course, but maybe it belongs to this early stage and learning to be with a new person. R is nice to me. So where's the problem?! I guess I just need some time got the "right feeling".

But now I 'm just puzzled, is that right now even psycho therapy, cause I haven't heard anything from the Social Insurance Institution and I haven't made any applications etc. So what on earth?  It has been about p s y c h o t h e r a p y from the very beginning and that's what I want, but now it seems like this is some kind of "normal" therapy. R is a trained psychologist, I know that, but that's almost all I know about her. And I don't have enough courage to ask it from herself. I must hope that the next doctor visit in mid-October brings some clarity to this situation. At the same visit I have to ask about my rehabilitation support (or what it is in english, the money that I get when beeing in sick leave). Will the same support continue after October of where do I get some money (..go to work, hippie..). Hopefully doctor knows what she is doing and I don't have to wait for the money too long.

Ps. Pheww.. this was one hell of a text to translate.. Don't know why, it just felt difficult.

Yesterday I didn't really have enough strength to write because of hangover, of course, so I stayed away from the computer. But it wasn't that insuperable hangover, mainly just tiredness.

On Friday I met with my friend, got drinks from the shop and headed to the friend's apartment. Then there we started to drink and gang suddenly increased. Later we moved to the bar, visited a club called 96 and slipped with Päivi inside Onnela for free (we cheated a little, just flashed old tickets).

Around 4 am I was at home in my own bed, though friend tried hard to get me to the "afterparty". I was already so tired enough that I didn't feel like going elsewhere than home, and certainly didn't feel like sleeping in a strange place.

I remember the whole evening, so my drinking was very controlled. Go, me. And there was no major mishaps, I'm happy. Money was spent perhaps a bit above expectations but there's always more to come.

Here are some pictures from a social evening over a month ago, so these are not from the last Friday: